University of North Carolina Wilmington Family Counseling Center
University of North Carolina Wilmington Family Counseling Center
Family has a different meaning to different people. Generally it is caregivers and children or people from a common ancestry. Health care professionals define an unhealthy family as one where the relationships among family members are not conducive to emotional and physical health for the individuals. The majority of families experience stressful situations (death in the family, a child's illness, etc.) that may impair functioning. Healthy families tend to return to normal functioning after a stressful event. Unhealthy families' problems tend to be chronic and children inconsistently get their needs met if at all.
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Children can be impacted into adulthood by one or all of the following behaviors that often result from difficult family patterns or dynamics. This material is not meant to blame your parents or caregivers. Many parents do not realize that their behavior is harmful to their children and may lack the tools to have insight into their behaviors or coping skills to handle their difficulties.
Impaired parenting- Parenting is a complex and demanding task that can be impacted by other factors influencing the parent. Impaired parenting can cause the child to become scapegoated, experience abuse, or emotional neglect. This impaired parenting could exist for a variety of reasons including: Physical illness or physical disability Substance Use Mental illness and developmental disabilities Trauma/Adverse Childhood Experiences within the Parent Parentification of children- Having an impaired parent often leads to a child having to fill the vacant parental role. Unfortunately the child is also acting as an impaired parent due to the child having responsibility but no authority. The child may blame themselves for not trying to make the family better, which may lead to feelings of worthlessness or not being good enough. Boundary violations- Boundaries delineate physical and psychological space between individuals within a family. Boundary violations typically occur through: Physical abuse Sexual abuse or inappropriate sexual behavior Violations of privacy with no justification Unnecessary exposure to details of marital conflict, sexual relationships, infidelities, etc… Extreme emphasis on and intrusive involvement in achievement-oriented activities Chronic rejection- parents with impairments are likely to be unable to validate a child and the children may be blamed for their parent's difficulties. This often leads to a child internalizing the blame for any rejection they experience at the hands of the parents. Traumatic or Adverse Childhood experiences- Children within difficult environments are likely to have experienced events or witnessed events where they feared for their lives or for others. They may be forced to adapt to chronic emergencies within their families in which psychological and physical survival was a daily issue. This may lead to impaired coping and information processing. Distorted communication- Many topics are likely to have been avoided, which may lead to a child learning backstage/indirect strategies for how to control a situation that does not require direct confrontation while learning to avoid difficult topics and conversations. Distorted cognitions- Rigid thinking patterns are often handed down from parents through modeling, direct, or indirect styles of communicating. As an adult you may have rigid expectations for yourself that involves a perfectionistic attitude and all or nothing thinking.
Services Offered To: Adults Teens Children
Payment: Sliding Scale
Online Counseling: Yes
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Qualifying for assistance from North Carolina's program usually depends on the severity of your condition and financial circumstance. Read our full guide to North Carolina's program.
A community counseling agency is a group therapy practice that offers affordable mental health services. Most are independent non-profit agencies, state agencies, or publicly-funded agencies. A few may restrict who is eligible for services, so it is a good idea to check when you call.
Community counseling agencies are generally more affordable than other therapy providers, but how much more affordable they are will depend on whether you qualify for a discount or sliding scale fee (or if they accept your insurance). Many, but not all, have a policy that they won't turn away anyone due to inability to pay. You should ask about their fees when you first call.
Expect to talk to kind people who want to help you find the care you need. Most community agencies strive to connect you with a live person within 24 hours, if not immediately. If you're asked to hold or leave a message, don't give up; just leave a message and wait. You should hear back pretty quickly.
Most agencies try to set up an initial assessment appointment within a week (some do within 24 hours), though the waitlist to start therapy is usually longer—about a few weeks on average. If you're not eligible or if the agency is not right for you, it's usually still worth it to call or drop in, because staff are knowledgeable about local options and can often refer you to one.